Forget flood. Interview ... wait, don't

Q: Can you imagine a day in which Maureen Dowd's column isn't the worst one in the Times?

A: Behold!

The famous televangelist Jim Bakker, who is preaching again on television after a rape accusation and a prison term for financial fraud, recently warned that Christians would start an armed insurrection if President Trump were impeached. “If it happens, there will be civil war in the United States of America,” Bakker told his television audience. “The Christians will finally come out of the shadows, because we are going to be shut up permanently if we’re not careful.”

Afterward, I received the following transcript of a conversation between Bakker and, er, God. It comes from a divine source.

 You'll want to read the whole thing. On second thought, you probably won't.